The Car Pool

It's Harold's aboriginal day in the car pool. They bellow the horn in foreground of his abode and he comes active out.

He gets about center down the airing if he hears a balance and the complete of his wife's bottom borer on the porch. He turns about and there she is, afflictive at him.

He runs aback to the steps, spreads her bathrobe, aeroembolism over, kisses her on the privates, runs aback down the airing and hops in the car.

They ride in blackout for a few minutes, until Walter, the driver, has to ask,

"Harold, it's none of my business, but why'd you kiss her down there?"

Harold says, "You wouldn't accept her animation in the morning."

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World’s Fastest Limousine is Longest Ferrari

My buddy approached me and said he is planning to buy a 23 feet long Ferrari. I made the pun of his plans by saying it must be a long laminated painting. But who knew I will become the butt of my own “witticism”.

Yah! He was talking about the 23 feet long roadster with 3.6 liter V8, 400bhp that is expected to hit the UK market this month at the European Limousine and Chauffeur Show. The formation and the production of this peerless limo is done by limo boss Dan Cowley; who is the blessed owner of the astounding ten-wheeled Terminator (Europe’s longest stretch Hummer).



The huge Ferrari limo is designed from a Ferrari 360 Modena chopped in half and prolonged by 9.5ft with a segment of carbon fiber that is hand-built. It can accommodate eight people and speeds with 0 to 60mph in less than six seconds with a top race of 170mph.





The inside of the Ferrari is no less than a five-star deluxe hotel. It features a 10-inch flat screen monitor that can broadcast images from cameras located on the exteriors. To make you feel at home, the Ferrari also comes packed with a six speaker surround sound system and DVD system fitted inside it.

Breaking the Guinness records of “The fastest Limousine and the Longest Ferrari,” this elite Ferrari is fabricated at an expenditure of £200,000.For more information visit limoshow.co.uk.

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Three Vampires

Once upon a time, three vampires met in some place in night. Apparently, each one of them was boasting about their vampiric abilities to one another.
Vampire A said, "Look at that mansion over there! I can finish all of its inhabitants within 10 minutes!"
And so he flew to the mansion, and 9 minutes later, he came back with his mouth filled with blood, looking satisfied with himself.
Vampire B then said, "Bah! Look at that village over there! Give me 5 minutes!"
He flew to the village, returned at the next 5 minutes, with his mouth filled with dripping red blood.
Vampire C then yelled, "Pffft! Look at the TOWN over there! Give me 3 minutes!"
He flew to the direction of the town, and one minute later, he returned with his mouth filled with blood.
Vampire A and B stared at him with amazement, then immediately asked, "How come you have such speed, friend?"
Vampire C pointed at a direction, then asked them, "Do you see a building over there?"
"Yes!" answered A and B.
"Well I DON'T!!!"

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Must not speak after dinner

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day
he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer.
After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he
leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust.
He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of
Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be
left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She
asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily
agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on
his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she
tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first
after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first
person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen
minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over
and kisses the woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word...! Next he decides to take a more direct
approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front
of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting
desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table.
They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next
when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect
the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out
the Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes."

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A Joke Explaining A Bitter Reality - Bush and Obama

Bush and Obama were sitting in a bar.

A Guy asks: What are you planning next?

Bush: We are planning World War 3.

Guy: Really? What's going to happen?

Bush: Well, this time we are going to kill 140 Million Muslims and 1 beautiful girl.

Guy: A beautiful girl? Why to kill a beautiful girl?

Bush turns to Obama and says: See i told you no one would worry about 140 million Muslims.

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